This Comic Is Always the Greater of Two Evils

Just Say "No" To This Comic

Uh Uh. Buh-Bye.

I'm Asking You Nicely Not To Read This. Next Time I Won't.

You'll Have No One To Blame But Yourself

If I've Told You Once, I've Told You a Thousand Times...

Abandonate Omnes Spes, Vos Qui Intrastis

God May Forgive You, But I Will Not

The Guilt You Feel Is Punishment Enough

If All Your Friends Jumped Off a Bridge, Would You?

If You’re Going to Not Read Just One Comic, This Is It

Readers Are Subject to Fines of Up To 1000 Doll Hairs

This Is a New Low

Santa is Watching!

You're Better Than This

Big Fat "Nope" For This One Too

You Know What's REALLY Cool? Not Reading This.

You'll Understand When You're Older

There's Wrong and There's Wrong and Then There's This

Read My Lips, "Not This Comic"

Uh... Yeah, No.

I Have A Nun With A Ruler Just Waiting For An Excuse

You Can't Un-Read It Once It's Been Read

Because I Said So!

Not Sure If I Said This Before But "Do Not Read This!"

Have You No Shame?

Just Wait Until Your Father Hears About This!

You're Old Enough to Know Better

Vamoose!

Make smart decisions. Do not read this.

Just... Why?

Losers Read This Comic. Be a Winner!

Uh Uh. NOT Happening.

Your Dead Relative Is Turning Over In Their Grave!

Think Of The Children!

Live A Life Without Regret.

My Heart Cries Out: Do Not Read This!!!

Quit This Comic. And Don't Quit Quitting.

For The *LAST TIME*: DO NOT READ THIS COMIC!!

30 Strikes And You're Out, Bucko

Do Not Defile Yourself With This Filth

I Implicitly Trust That You Will Not Read This

*Wags Finger*

If You Read This, I'm Telling Mom!

Reading This Is Just a Bad Life Decision

Do NOT Make Me Repeat Myself

Scram!

Uh Uh. Not Happening.

I Am Shaking My Head Disapprovingly

I'm Running Out Of Ways To Say, "Don't Read This Comic."

Get Your Eyes Off This Comic You Damn Dirty Ape!

No Means No

Read This And I Will Just Snap

Matthew 13:42 Refers to Readers of This Comic

GET. OUT. NOW!

Instead of Reading This Comic, Go Out and Live Your Life

Don't You Have Better Things to Do?

New Constitutional Amendment: Do Not Read This Comic

Stay Away. I've Rigged This To Explode.

Read This and Things Are Gonna Get Reeeeeeeal Ugly

I Know You're Thinking About It. Don't.

Hey. HEY! Don't EVEN!

I SAID, "Back The **** AWAY!!"

Please Back Away

This One? Yeah, No.

Neither Should You Read This

Not This One Either

Do Not Read This Either

Do Not Read This