Grifting Drifting UP

Touching the Soft Spot

Two Room Schoolhouse

Compact Cars

Giveaways and Takeaways

Ringing Doorbell, You Home

Using the Guest Towels

Bending Acorns With Ones Mind

Shipping Container

Beige Ops (Look Out)

From Commerce To Labor

Nostril Oversight Committee

Doing Wrong By Lying

Buying a Bag at the Airport

Low Heat Blast Furnace Repair

Blowing Shit Up, Getting Things Done

Supply Side Economics Closet

Computers Doing Real Good

Satan's Wet Wipes

Unlit Cigar (Small Willie Style)

Last Refuge (Bubbles)

The Sight of Tom Hanks

Claws Retracted

Throughfare Moldy Oldies

Cheap Seats Fixed Baseball Games

Hugh Hefner Was a Dork

Minivan Slow

More Piano Parts

Disturbing Trends In Sticker Collecting

Bless This Mess (Torn Leather)

Face Moving Talking Taxes

Refining Techniques

Lingering Doubt (Clothing Asterisks)

Big Doings in the Persian Gulf

The Lazy Susan and Moderna

Done Wrong Done Right

Petite Violet Withdrawals

The Van Had Weak Breaks

Under the Blood Red Counter Dope

Grasping a Straw Until It Bent

Floating Towards Infinity

sunglasses sand in both eyes

Frayed Wiring

Economics Macro Action

Qualifying For The Foot Race

Hurling Water Balloons

He Wished He Wanted Her

Embargo A Go Go

Violent Credit Check Form

Public Health Needs

Contributing Nothing To Society

Longing For Relief of Night Vision

Overflowing Oceans

Mr. Bombastic Failed To Be Fantastic

An Unprotected Left

Not Gaining Any Ground

A Very Discrete Decision (Beach Owls)

Caught In a Cult

Ways To Go

Too Many Cartoons

Calling Out Her Name

Unbottled Wine (Smell the Cork)

Based On Electability

The Locations of Downed Jetliners

The Devil Went Down To Wendy's

Fig Newtons Of Imagination

Bringing Up Piping

On The Take (Salads)

Misusing An Apostrophe

Penitentiary Pen Pal (overweight woman)

Pies And Pied Pipers

Jerry Seinfeld And His Lower Lip

Divorce In An Elevator

Heavy D In Winter

All Contained In The Can

Toddlers In The Toaster

A Torn Tornado (Only In Theatres)

Lounging On Towels For Fame And Profit

Mr. Ed's Tailor Leaves Town

No Interest Same As Ass

Mom Butting Like A Paper Towel

Telling Someone Something Unsettling

Speed Limit 15 MPH

Pack And A Half

A Northern Blew Through

The Curse Of T-Mobile

Thick Black Magic Markers

Discount Chili Dogs

Policeman's Grave

Unwashed Black Dirty Boots

A Guy On TV Talked About A Rain Event

Trannies AT The Bodega

The Big Beach Blast Kegger Flake Fest

Two Seniors In High School

Retired Tubing Enthusiasts

She Got Dick Everynight (Lean Cuisine)

Heating Up The Salsa

The Guy With The Goatee

A Mile Of Wire

Parading The Exceptional Employee

Enjoying Being Pissed On (Reindear)

Baby Mama Butt Pants

Pants All Stuck Up In Her Butt

The Laundry Mat Held Hell To Fires

Lawn Darting For Profit

Last Car In The Funeral Procession Pays For Parking

Suicide By Diet

The Evolution Of Flight

Sounds Like Disappointment

Filling Out The Form In Triplicate

Passing Stopped Traffic

Air Butt N B

Jumping Up And Down

Pressing And Rotating Buttons

Cranky Carney On Crank

Closing An Open Door

Brown Bag With A Wet Bottom

The Steve Miller Bland (Airplanes)

Falconing With Rome

Light On The Anger

She Couldn't Talk To A Doctor About It

He Held His Pee Til It Hurt To Fart

Fat Girl Beef

Booze Cruise With Just Dudes

Making Moves Now

The Package Was Torn

Nebraska In A No-Go Zone

Hard Times Working Part Time

Leeches Are Sucking Lies From The Truth

Relentless Shopping Lists (Wax Paper)

Tides Of March Pods

That Strip Joint Day Shift

Acres Of Pot, Man

Peter Pipes His Pecker (Lonesome Dove Soap)

Two Chicks At The Same Time

Balding Anger (With Coupon)

Right In The Nuts

Overpaying On Tariffs

Passed Up For Promotion

His Story Must Be Told

Abstinence Only Education

Posturing As A Populist

A FEar Of Success

All In The Name Of Liberty

Novelty Numbers And The Big Easy

Spring Break Pizza Party

Fingerless Gloves (25 Years)

Bacon Tomato Lettuce Hot Dog Buns

River Water Boating Accidents

He Used To Work For Chick-Fil-A

Basketball Coach Upset Off The Court

The Eighth Amigo

Leather Pants (Alice In Chains Suck)

Throwing Knives At A Tree (Old Buttons)

Speaking Truth To Power (Flamingos)

Train Hoppin' And Cash Cloppin'

The Israeli Prime Minister

Bring The Gun And Remember Gloves

Independent Artist (Spandau Spandex)

He Bought His Body Back

The Alcoholic Has To Apologize

More Talent In My Left Hand

Reheated Italian Food

High Forehead Hat Co.

Fat Checker

Keep It Moving With The Buildabox

Said This To A Girl Once

That Scene From City Slickers

Stripper Girlfriend

Electronic Service Requested

Running Smack In Vietnam

Hotties And Notties

He Wore Two Watches

You Can Skip Ad In 4...

Crisis Of Broken Fingers

Deep Holes, Shallow Thoughts

Publicly Funded

Making Life Safe Fro The Business Criminals

Central Frederalist's Iron Ore Grip

Little Debbie Does Dallas

Following Pedestrians Into The Mall

Bowties And Boomerangs (Foster)

Bad Touch Good Naked

This Land Smells LIke It Wasn't Taken Good Of

Relaxative Emotions (Wrong Phone)

The Graduating Class

Dojo Medical Insurance

Scratched Vinyl Ponies In Hiding

Comparing One To Ted Danson

Best Of The Best Franks And Beanies

Fighting For The Last Slice (Onions It Is)

Elite Lager (Learning and Devouring)

Thirty Seconds Of Toweling Off

Hiding In The Handicapped Stall

Ten Quid A Week (Disturbing Dance Music)

Flacid (The Water Is Cold)

The Leaves Remained Unraked In The Yard

Amber Heard Alert

The Troubles On Television (Disturbing Dance Music)

Wifeswapping Alcoholics (Tooth Fairy)

Refinancing A Car Loan (Good Credit/Bad Credit)

Reading Unbelievable Things

The Hinges Are Rusted Here

He Wore Glasses

A Wild Wind

Even Eggs (Worst Words To Use)

Fresh Citrus (They All Gave It Their Best)

Guns'N'Maury

Knowing What The Public Wants (That Smile Movie)

Ketchup Soaked Banana Bread

The Fillings In Their Teeth

The Kid Brought Home Chik-Fil-A

Draft Beer In Droves

Cities In Rubble, Disease Widespread

Dry Shaving In The Shower

Confused Finding The Door

Waiting For The Take Out Guy

A Thousand Soiled Sheets

Dwelling In Fear Constantly

Walking Up To The Big Building

Long Day Out At The Beach

She Wanted A Real Burrito

Small Couch

Headed Out In An Ultima

Pat Benetar Taking All The Best Shots

Brita Water Filter (Classic Cuts)

Jason Newstead Buys Pants

Exciting And Accessible (Look Homeward)

The Sadness Felt Like Sand In The Shoes

A Gay Man's Unwanted Advances And Strides

The Light Went Out In The Fridge

Reruns And First Editions

Rental Fee Refund Processing

Preference Promotions And There Was Dave

Price Is Right Pontiac

Publicly Extremity Assessment Team

Cult Film Fanatic (Loose Fit Dockers)

Losing Lottery Tickets Being Burned In Effigy

Hired From The Cast Of Beatlemania

Frosty The Afro-Futurist

Tax Free Lifetime

Bowling Alleys And Burger Kings

That Scene In Wall Street

Finding A Penny And Picking It Up

They Made It Easy

Tart English Breakfast

Forever Then Another Hot Wheel Car

There Is An Ending

Lazarus' Double

Chuck Berry Sat With His Legs Crossed

Traffic Was The Name Of A Band In The 70s

Critical Hoola Hoop Theories (Bad Batches)

A Kind Of Caliber Of Man Who Invests In Fromage

Burger With The Limp Pickle

Stay Working, Keep Busy

Throwing Away Opportunity At The Arcade

Sneaking Snacks Into The Theatre Seats

Hard Sarcasm And Bulletproof Vests

Those Fascinating Car Bombs That Go Boom

Small Fries Not Found In Bag

The Verve Versus The Verve Pipe

Feigning Interest In Her Interests

Eight Doves Deep (Working Towards A 9)

Six Types Of Burn Victims

I Wish I Hadn't Looked In That Car

Boiling In Oil (Lack That Hip Beat)

Paperclip Cut Under The Thumb

Big Things Crawling All Over Me

Tattooed Mommy 13

Good Days Better Days Fasttrackin'

The Older Man And The Sea

Having A Pet Is Responsibility

The Elite Republican Guard (We Shit Bullets)

Midday Television Commerica Anxiety

Another Murder Ballad Band

Thanksgiving Office Party (Its Getting Early)

Deception In Size (Redux)

Going In And Out Of The House

Large Waves Of Gratitude

Foreign Checks Stuck In Throats

She Had Surgery

Inventing A Past

He Took His Pants Off (Ladder 49)

Primeval Man Tends A Fire

Forty Eight Hours Of Fear

Seventeen Times A Sailor

Available On Cassette

Intellectuals Have Time To Contemplate

Thrown Under The Bus For A Fat Girl

Wrecking The Prisoner Transport

Bastion Of American Talent

Not Hot Not Not

Textbook Theory

Batteries With Purpose

The Towel Caught Fire In The Microwave

Steady Dick Diet

This Isn't Working

Grease Paint And Rainy Morning Headaches

Discovered Completely By Accident

Disposable Active Income (Reviews)

Finding More Wheat

On A Drip Drip Basis (Jazz Fest Comeback)

Bending In A Light Wind

Arrested In That Jacket

Sneaky Shadows

Cops Running Crazy (Scream 8)

To The Exclusion Of All Other Weapons

Hassle Fraud Free Dovetailin'

Licorice Sticks With Lime Sprinkles

That Was The Case

Several Actions Of Thinking

Tammy Wynette's Tits (Good Paper Plates)

Three Metal Dorks (Chick In Shorts)

The Legend Of Bagger's Vans

Those People Looked Like Pundits

The Girl From Ipanema Has Ephysema

Forgeting The Big Pain

Twangy Zip (Miracle Parachutes)

Taxes (Cut Bob And Weave)

Tap For Options

Fifteen Acres

Told Loudly In A Familiar Language

Eating Tampoons And Making Do

The Powerful Scent Of Blood

School Photos For Less Than One Farthing

Out In The Meadow

High Handlebars Equal Bad For The Back

Letters From The Eastern Bloc

Corey Taylor's Colon

Patches And Pastoral Locksmiths (Winter Age)

Failing To Yield To On Coming Static

Kids Shooting Shots Of Straight Grain

Granite Tabletops (Free Estimates)

Puncturing The Refrigeration Tubes Can Lead To An Explosion

Talking About The Doom

Resisting More Onions On Pasta

Fortune Smiles

Single String Solo

Soft Flames With Oat Crisp Reservations

The Band In High Heat

The Fifth One Didn't Make It To Market

T Shirt Cannons At The Starship Show

Hunting Down Counter-Revolutionaries

Worrisome Weather Double Rainbows Ache

Turning Saucepans Into Sauce

Four Forms Of Identification

Cleaning Up Blood Borne Pathogens

Pitchers Of Pale Ale

Carton Of Milk, Loaf Of Bread And A Stick Of Butter

That's A Good Catholic

Partial Birth Abortions Bummed Him Out

The Guy Heard Things And Believed Them

Plastic Orange Pants (Shooting Horses)

Half Court Game

The Kids Are All Tight

Binge Watching Buttholes

The Wind Cries Toto (Africa)

Facing The Sheet Music (Giving In And Up)

Payroll Deduction

We Are Eating The President's Oranges

Biblical Buffet Portions (Untied Shoes)

Investing In Anteating Armadillos

THree Kids (Two Months Salary)

Manifestos Manifested Thru Clarinet Blowing

Working With People

The Bad Rodeo Movie

Watching Back to the Future 2

Hype Balloons

Talking Loudly Behind A Wall

The Well Worn Work Shirt (Pit Stop Stains)

Cross Contamination

Forgetable Levers In Real Time

White Girl With Dreadlocks

Woodgrain Alcohol (Windy Meadow)

The Clarity Of The Clarinet (Hydration Is Key)

Needles And Pins And Exchanges

WA(te)R All The Timer

All The Questions Sounded Insane

Assesment And Retaliation

Avocadoes: The Good Fat (Tight Tanktop)

Assimilation And The Down Game Sax

In The Event Of A Water Landing

Walking Basslines Fingerless Gloves

Differences In Distribution

Plurals, Pronouns, Pizza Parties

The Lettuce Was Browning

Unfortunate Son (Hiccupping Raw Whiskey)

Papering Over Your Mistakes (Easy Lovin')

Mixed Ethnicity

Covered In Hope

Companies Contracted To Produce Weapons

Not A Political Band (Clarient Blowing)

Clean Sheets

Developing Good Habits (And Maintaing Them)

The Tranny Train With No Brakes

Plants, Trains And Nefarious Gentlemen

Didn't Have The Back

He Had This, Toga Parting Sea

The Turd In The Toilet Turned Out To Be A Sock

The Old Man Tipped Two Dollars

Complicated Stereo Instructions

Tortured By Voodoo

The Good Gasoline At Easy Prices

Unlike Jesus, The McRib Came Back

43.7 Yards (How Many Kids Did She Rent)

Haul That Food tRuck

Tickets Still Available

Blowing Bon Jovi

Still Bearing His Name

No Public Restroom At The Post Office

Big Game Bargain Hunting (Sasquatch Blooze)

Going Back To The Bandanas

Vice Industries Thriving

Caged By Theory

Could Really Shred

Licking The Stamp

Translated Into Spanish

Hottest Juciest Burgers

In Sonsequence Of Vintage Countertops

Holding Hands And Skipping Stones

Step On The Goddamn Gas (What Are You Doing)

Field Recordings And Cold Tea

Flustered, Last In Line, Late For Chow

The Old Queen Met His Barber Halfway

The Daughter Wanted Custody

Sensodyne Toothplaster

Scent Of A Trans Woman

Fancy Pants Dance

Diamond Crucifixes And A Cold Baked Alaska

Welcoming The Anger Machine

How They Died

Third Base Coach Got The Ladies All On Fire

Moving On From Race (Fiats Fixed)

Way Beyond Driven (Exchange Rates)

Wanting To Do Karate

The Caller ID said "Deshaun"

Bowling Plans Thrawted

Asking For An Application

Chainsaws, Factories Becoming Industrialized

Just Another Band Out Of Boston (Hung Himself)

Langston Air Force Base (Gotcha)

Abuse Of The Elderly (Contact Jodie Foster Flick)

Such A Tremendous Talent

Thinking Egg Rhymes With Dig

Distracted Driver (Boneriffic P.I.)

The Mail Arrived On Schedule

The Lives Of Sailors

Confounded CAT Vomiting

Long Laundry LIst (Filled Out Socks)

Open Air Festival Fees

Judge, Jury And Plenty Of Fish Dot Org

Buffalo Springfield Wings (Almonds)

Because Fecal Matter

Ailey Sheady's Asshole (Layin' Brick)

Backwards Bandanas

Leaping On Tables To Catch A Glimpse

The Lucky Barber

A Culture Of Crime

Dildo Tryouts With A Money Back Option

Relish Hot Dog Topping Not Moment

You Pay $4.99

That Scene from Mr. Vincent

The Cup Was Empty

Tornadoes Tundra Agenda

Crushing Aching Doubt And New Money

Running Frightened From The Cover Of Tiger Beat

Building A New Neighbourhood

Torn Scented Soaps (Cold Mustard Pact)

Jesus Was Asking For It (Expired Cheesecloth)

Loud Banging Noises Outside The Hop

Staff Picks

Personal Ads In The Back Of Lowrider Magazines

Holes In Shoes And The Theory There

Strong Odors In Bulge Pants

The Good Game Of Golf Got Gory

Selling Scented Candles Stay At Home Mom

The Lamb Was Led To The Slaughter

Poker Chips And Salsa

Raising Pet Bulls On A Budget

Lita Ford's Peanut Allergy

Distracted Drivers

The Saga Of The Pink Sock Sickness

The Dry Cleaning

Explosions Are Fun (Toffee Bars)

Hatchback No Seatbelts (Vinyl Seats Torn)

Dropping Everything In The Toilet

More Choices For Just A Little Cash

Before The Markets Open This Morning

Polerizaton Politics (Smith Without Wessen)

Tik Toker With A Fart Of Gold (Whine Rack)

And It Is For This Reason

Plunging Into The Inferno

Advantageous (Cracked Out)

Activist Knows Best

Butts And Bedknobs

Unsold Unwashed Flatware News

The Place Where It Is

Lounge Table Saw

Frustration Heartburn Bitch Slappin'

Parchment Aged Like New Cheese

Squinting To See What Happens

Ancestral Rage (Permanent PMS)

Disemboweling The Surviving Cast Of Cheers

Big Crime Pies In The City Limits

Kawasaki For Sale (Low Milage)

Fixin' To Order More From The Catalouge

Voiding The Manufacturer's Warranty

Using Her Face As A Restroom Excuse

Hanging Up The Phone (Big Dust)

Figures The Tags Weren't Paid For

Flamable Checkered Vest Buttons

Such Unimaginable Unbadness

Older Gay Men (Scotch And Tequila)

Bravey With Allyship Over Bangledesh

That Debate

The Mother Who Wanted Another

Stonewashed Acid Jeans (With Holes)

Headed To Hooters After A Morning Prayer

The Why Of The Why

Bicycles And Runway Models

Recognized The Foul Stench

Finding Meaning At The Bottom Of A Well

Butt People

A Rebuilding Process (Painting With Paper Clips)

Things Known

She Sold Real Estate And Regret

Fire Up The Pit (Miller Time)

A Nice Feel Good Year

The Demand For Decency Fell Upwards

It's Mean To Make Them

One Room Schoolhouse

A Cold Plate Of Plastic Fruit

The Bees Won't Sting

Wireless Razorblades (Tan Car Crash)

Mustard Stains On A Yellow Tie

Slow Learners In The Fast Lane

Time Loss Accident Figures

Making A Difference In Spades

The Toast Is Texas

Long Dress Wet With Rain

Serious Unlucky Odds At The Table

Paying For The Alibi Alimony

Random Unmarked Dick Pills

Dual Wheelie Drive

Sticking A Fork In It

Most Normal Guy In Hollywood

He Had Become Rod Stewart

A Found Full Wallet

Folded Guest Towels (Dubbed In Italian)

They Followed The Trends

Trying To Get Famous

Don't Worry About It

Long Underwear Outdoors

Advised To Make The Move To San Francisco

Out Of Season (Booberry For Breakfast)

Inserted Batteries Included (Soft Food Allergies)

Western Cut Off Shirts With Slogans On Them

Arms Up, Arms Out, Windmills In Odem, Texas

It Came From Columbia (Left Knotted)

Fantasizing Out To The Top

Excited Jazz Fusion Fans (Lamenting Circles)

Crumpled Up Clothing On The Ceiling

Fresh Scent

Straight Razor Saturday Night Shave

The Manager "Musician" With The Analogy

The Contractor With The Dented Truck

Old Shoe

The Artists In X Made A Mistake

Tortoise Shell Egg Whites

Cornholing Elvis Costello