Story tips?

Creator

Oblivious void

I wrote this a while ago but I still think it’s pretty good, I just feel like it might be a bit much clumped together and I need tips to improve my writing. I was also going back and forth whether or not to make mikes mom homophobic or not for more storyline, but then I realized I wanted Sophia to be the focus but it still feels pretty blank. I hope you like my bad details from a year ago