Flustered, Last In Line, Late For Chow UP

The Old Queen Met His Barber Halfway

The Daughter Wanted Custody

Sensodyne Toothplaster

Scent Of A Trans Woman

Fancy Pants Dance

Diamond Crucifixes And A Cold Baked Alaska

Welcoming The Anger Machine

How They Died

Third Base Coach Got The Ladies All On Fire

Moving On From Race (Fiats Fixed)

Way Beyond Driven (Exchange Rates)

Wanting To Do Karate

The Caller ID said "Deshaun"

Bowling Plans Thrawted

Asking For An Application

Chainsaws, Factories Becoming Industrialized

Just Another Band Out Of Boston (Hung Himself)

Langston Air Force Base (Gotcha)

Abuse Of The Elderly (Contact Jodie Foster Flick)

Such A Tremendous Talent

Thinking Egg Rhymes With Dig

Distracted Driver (Boneriffic P.I.)

The Mail Arrived On Schedule

The Lives Of Sailors

Confounded CAT Vomiting

Long Laundry LIst (Filled Out Socks)

Open Air Festival Fees

Judge, Jury And Plenty Of Fish Dot Org

Buffalo Springfield Wings (Almonds)

Because Fecal Matter

Ailey Sheady's Asshole (Layin' Brick)

Backwards Bandanas

Leaping On Tables To Catch A Glimpse

The Lucky Barber

A Culture Of Crime

Dildo Tryouts With A Money Back Option

Relish Hot Dog Topping Not Moment

You Pay $4.99

That Scene from Mr. Vincent

The Cup Was Empty

Tornadoes Tundra Agenda

Crushing Aching Doubt And New Money

Running Frightened From The Cover Of Tiger Beat

Building A New Neighbourhood

Torn Scented Soaps (Cold Mustard Pact)

Jesus Was Asking For It (Expired Cheesecloth)

Loud Banging Noises Outside The Hop

Staff Picks

Personal Ads In The Back Of Lowrider Magazines

Holes In Shoes And The Theory There

Strong Odors In Bulge Pants

The Good Game Of Golf Got Gory

Selling Scented Candles Stay At Home Mom

The Lamb Was Led To The Slaughter

Poker Chips And Salsa

Raising Pet Bulls On A Budget

Lita Ford's Peanut Allergy

Distracted Drivers

The Saga Of The Pink Sock Sickness

The Dry Cleaning

Explosions Are Fun (Toffee Bars)

Hatchback No Seatbelts (Vinyl Seats Torn)

Dropping Everything In The Toilet

More Choices For Just A Little Cash

Before The Markets Open This Morning

Polerizaton Politics (Smith Without Wessen)

Tik Toker With A Fart Of Gold (Whine Rack)

And It Is For This Reason

Plunging Into The Inferno

Advantageous (Cracked Out)

Activist Knows Best

Butts And Bedknobs

Unsold Unwashed Flatware News

The Place Where It Is

Lounge Table Saw

Frustration Heartburn Bitch Slappin'

Parchment Aged Like New Cheese

Squinting To See What Happens

Ancestral Rage (Permanent PMS)

Disemboweling The Surviving Cast Of Cheers

Big Crime Pies In The City Limits

Kawasaki For Sale (Low Milage)

Fixin' To Order More From The Catalouge

Voiding The Manufacturer's Warranty

Using Her Face As A Restroom Excuse

Hanging Up The Phone (Big Dust)

Figures The Tags Weren't Paid For

Flamable Checkered Vest Buttons

Such Unimaginable Unbadness

Older Gay Men (Scotch And Tequila)

Bravey With Allyship Over Bangledesh

That Debate

The Mother Who Wanted Another

Stonewashed Acid Jeans (With Holes)

Headed To Hooters After A Morning Prayer

The Why Of The Why

Bicycles And Runway Models

Recognized The Foul Stench

Finding Meaning At The Bottom Of A Well

Butt People

A Rebuilding Process (Painting With Paper Clips)

Things Known

She Sold Real Estate And Regret

Fire Up The Pit (Miller Time)

A Nice Feel Good Year

The Demand For Decency Fell Upwards

It's Mean To Make Them

One Room Schoolhouse

A Cold Plate Of Plastic Fruit

The Bees Won't Sting

Wireless Razorblades (Tan Car Crash)

Mustard Stains On A Yellow Tie

Slow Learners In The Fast Lane

Time Loss Accident Figures

Making A Difference In Spades

The Toast Is Texas

Long Dress Wet With Rain

Serious Unlucky Odds At The Table

Paying For The Alibi Alimony

Random Unmarked Dick Pills

Dual Wheelie Drive

Sticking A Fork In It

Most Normal Guy In Hollywood

He Had Become Rod Stewart

A Found Full Wallet

Folded Guest Towels (Dubbed In Italian)

They Followed The Trends

Trying To Get Famous

Don't Worry About It

Long Underwear Outdoors

Advised To Make The Move To San Francisco

Out Of Season (Booberry For Breakfast)

Inserted Batteries Included (Soft Food Allergies)

Western Cut Off Shirts With Slogans On Them

Arms Up, Arms Out, Windmills In Odem, Texas

It Came From Columbia (Left Knotted)

Fantasizing Out To The Top

Excited Jazz Fusion Fans (Lamenting Circles)

Crumpled Up Clothing On The Ceiling

Fresh Scent

Straight Razor Saturday Night Shave

The Manager "Musician" With The Analogy

The Contractor With The Dented Truck

Old Shoe

The Artists In X Made A Mistake

Tortoise Shell Egg Whites

Cornholing Elvis Costello

The Time At The Beach

Overweight Gut With The Low Self Esteem Girl

Reciting The Alphabet Backwards

Competitive

Warning Labels Advertising The Fun

Pantsed In The Pool

Calling Into Radio Stations To Win Tickets

Dressing Up As Mythic Figures

Faux Leather Apron

Rolling Lost Highway Stone

Chopping Word In Underwear Ads

One Too Many New Radicals

That Burrito

Worse Off Than That Whore

That Reality

Wandering Towards Tomorrow

Back Catalouge Of Stag Movies

Leaving Everyday At Lunch

Bought And Paid For Reviews

Eating The President's Oranges

Planning And Purpose

A Fundamental Amount Of Flack

Sullen And Without A Useful Wallet

Veiled Cargo (Not Another Dime)

Catharic Trauma

Diving Into What The Candidates Gave

Discreet Packaging

B.U.M. Equipment

The Way Looked Easy In The Phamplet

The Jam Band In Mono Hi-Fi

The Sketch Artist (Uneven Lanes)

Hot Girls In Love

Wrestling With The Lard Tomato

Uneven Cooling

The Cock Blocking Fat Friend Who Wants To Leave

Looking For A Fart Of Gold

Forgetting To Duck (Soup's Cold...again)

Loose In The Caboose (Before It Gets Soft)

That Doubt In Your Back Pocket

Rolling Down The Banks Of Downtown Burbank

Not One Jumping Jack

That Time In Juarez

Weak Covid Joke

All Lathered Up (Windchimes IN Motion)

In The Program (TOUCHDOWN)

The To-Go Box In The Fridge

Flowbee Aerosal Cans In Transit

The Slip Was Showing

Up With The Regards

All Of The Tags Were Expired

Ain't Living Long Like This

He Owned An Envelope

The Studio Outtakes Outsold The Singles

Passed Up For Promotion: Bootlegging T-Shirts

Fiscal Responsibility

That Scene From U.S. Marshalls

A Good American

Attempting To Get Fast And Loose

Garth Brooks Complained About Used CD Sales

A Man A Plan A Canal

A Little Sewing Kit

The Roll On The Wrong Way

A Browser With Exceptional Speed

Bleeding Control Station

The Mortgage

One Dollar For That

Reagan's First Wife Left Him Cause He Was Boring

Wah Pedals And Laid Back Inaction

Shoeless And Serious

Debt Relief

Gaslighting And Greenlighting (Buying The Vote)

They Shot The Sheriff

Out Each Window

Rage Against The Machine Guy Hurt His Foot

That Ancient Ember Of Awesome

Dandruff By The Lake

Royally Flushed (Toilet Humor)

I Heard A Who Done It

Found Furniture (On Ramp Blues)

Too Proud 2 Beg (Reprise)

Increased Reliance On Equity

That Rug Smells Like Old Soup

Highland Parkways On Fire

Hiding Without Mirrors

Air Force Swearing In Ceremony

The Perils Of The Forgotten Food

Even The Nights Are Better

A Bowl Without Borders

Forgetting To Pay The Wrong Bill

The Guy Wore The Wrong Clothes aka A Sermon

The World Went Wrong

He Hurt His Foot

Lathered Up Incredible

Sandwich Bags On The Bus

Fortunes Favor The Fortunate

Disappointed Ceiling Fans

Doing The D.J. Show

Traffic Was The Name Of A Band

Prop Circles

Poor Boy Long Way From Home

The End Times

Rolling Hills

Lasik Surgery

Kenny Chesney's Tax Return

They Had Name For It

8675309

Manufactured Fan Base (Dated References)

Falling Down A Flight Of Stairs

Crying In The Chapel (Dull Spoon)

Steady Influx Of Metal Bands On The Scene

Vietnam Is Still Going On

Cultural Appropiation (Gondolas And Shit)

Parking Lot Misunderstanding

Populating The Planet (Dead Ball On The Field)

The First Time (Ancien' Regime)

Day Time Talk Shows

Burnt Offering On The Condor

The Olson Twins At Auto Zone

She Taught High School

The Fajitas Are Sizzling

That Chick Looked Like A Tube Of Toothpaste

Forced To Choose

Aint' Superstitious

Off The Sauce On The Cross

Low Speed Paintball (As Advertised)

He Grew A Beard

His Career Was In The Toilet

Free Meet 'N' Beat

His Shirt Read: Corvette

John Updike's Problems With Women

Noticing The Awnings

Sweat Stains On The Sheets

That One Charlie Daniels Seinfeld "Crossover"

Stamp Collecting

Novelty Checks With Large Lettering

Fork In The Water

Uber Murder Bath Water (The Tide Came Out)

Worked His Way Up From Sacking Groceries

Overdubbed VHS Cassettes

Wandering Windows (Open Doors)

Militant Atheism

Impossible Yet Undewhelmed

For A Thousand Years

Even The Milk Turns Chocolate

Microwave

Forgetting The Oven Is On

Them Balconies Will Get Ya

Fantastic Pieces Of Flat Pants

He Forgot To Carry The One

Personal Pan Labrynth

Hard Shower In The P.M.

Body Positive Pole Vaulter

Big Time Boogie (Got That Work)

Major Manufacturing (Three Hit Wonder)

They Pissed On Everything

The Guy's Name On The Plane Was Larson

Investing In Abandoned Oil Wells (Reprise)

Juice, Toast And Milk

Luke Warm Shower Routine

Brand New Convertible (Four On The Floor)

Unaffordable Early Bird Accidents

Sports Journalism (Eating Oats All Day)

Even The Milk Turns Chocolate

Intermittant Fasting

Yet Another Wine And Cheese Store

That Time When That Happened

Regular Crackers In A Plain Brown Wrapper

Ordering Pizza Through A Cardboard Tube

Fantastic Cutlery (This Way To That Action)

Baptizing Others (With Old Wheat Cream)

The Regency Of The Toe-Tappers

Leader Of The Pack Rats

That Scene From The Great Outdoors

Titty Bars And Gang Bangs

All Along The Bayfront

And The Wind Cried Steve

Painting The Windows Shut (Airtight Alibi)

Fiercely Monotheistic

Smelling Eggs Each Afternoon

The Guy At The Meat Market Couldn't Handle The Word

Pickles In They Jar-O

Canned Goods With Laughter

Paperplane Cuts Between The Knuckles

Left Turn Signal Stuck In The On Position

And A Large Diet Piss

Hooters On Fire (Two For Tuesday)

Black Bears Are Losing Their Habitat

Undercooked Hot Dog Water (Etc)

The Left Lane Is For Right Turns Only

He Drank Heavily

Made Withou Aluminum Or Perfumes

Cramping Up On The Freeway

Socks And Sandals

The Night He Came Home (Bon Jovi Comeback)

Repeat, Rinse Then Whole Grains

The Oven Was Open (Cold Dinner)

Pain At The Pump

More Than One In The Oven

A Big Pile Of Fruit By The Foot

Refurbished Furniture

Scalping Tickets To The Circus

The Worth Of A Soul

Like A MuthaF'n Fruit Roll Up

The Leaf Blower Commentary Track

That One Recurring Dream

Fell Out Of Window

There Were No Holes In The Donuts (Broken Clocks)

The Wind Cries Foul

The Light Bill Grew Out Of Hand

And The Thunder Wept

Putin On Th Ritz (Former USSR Hit Maker)

Big Bowling Balls (dick jokes)

Make Believe Traffic Winnings

A World On Fire

Cast Iron

Cold Pizza

Unique Stain Resisting Carpet Action

Milk Night Gas (Poor Choices)

Number One (Afternoon Drive Time Radio)

Story Of British Supergroup Whitesnake

Those Aren't Pillows

That Chick Had Bad Hair

That Lane Was Made For Changing

Hip High School Pot Smoking Teacher

He Kept Asking me

No Forwarding Address

Strutter '78 (Dooka Dooka Dooka)

Yard Sale

Yard Sale

Forgotten Donut On A Bus Bench

The Bourne Degenerency

Tall Kitchen Bags

Plain Dirty ClothesCop

The ATM Went Bust

Straight From Nazi Laboratories

Odds And Asses (Oatmeal On A Stick)

Low Prices (Waiting To Inhale)

The Cup Was Empty

Four Times The Fiber

The Sweatshirt Didn't Nothing But

Tu Madre

Left On Read

Groggy From The Warm Milk Duds

Picking Ripe Appels Out Of An Old Barrel

Slow Times At Ridgemont High

America's Funniest Home Videos

Turbo Tax

The Afterword Was Better Than The Movie

Beatnik Boogie (Slummin' Downtown)

Hurting On The Outside (Foul Ball Blues)

Somewhere Along The Way

Family Matters (Heavy Metal Videos)

That Barrel Went Over The Falls

There Was No Pancake Batter

It Says So In The Song (Aerosmith's VH1 Thing)

Hard Cider (Seltzer Is Good Food)

That Commercial With The Nose Strips Gal

Big Time Terminal (Rehashing The Hits)

Folding The Guest Towels

Putting Powder On Tennis Balls (In A Pringles Can)

Distressed Jeans (What Would Dan Rather?)

Blitzed On Bad Import Beer (Corona Cancer)

Cough Wheeze Then Puke

The Power Of Soft Seltzer

The Plunger Failed To Provide

They Actually Left The Light On For Him

The Water In The Shower Was Luke Warm

Flirtin' With Disaster

Preparing For The Fall Out

Preparing For The Fall Out

The Passenger Kept Nudes In His Shoes

Desk Jobs Look Good On The Morning News

Worshipping Damaged Freight

The Pledge At The Strip Joint

Moth Eaten Trousers

Everyone On The Television Was Gay

The Results Were Unprecented

The Rust Stain Moved With The Wind

Shocking Moments In Rock And Roll

The One Really Bad Orange

They Stopped Serving Breakfast

That Shitty Song From (Kraft) Singles

A Concern Over Imported Beer

Throes Of Opoid Addiction

Systematic Racism

Bad News On His Birthday

Free Form Jazz Hands

The Cleaners Had A Sale

Lakeside Camping Equipment

Requesting A Foam Rubber Pillow

Blankets For Kids In Syria

Turns The Water Blue

Not Till The Hostages Come Home

A Decision With Hashtags and Hashbrowns

Fourten Fifty

Paid In Plane Crashes

Price And Eye Gouging: Hilarity

That Ozone Layer

The Awful Number About A Jumper

Caring To The Point Of Being Bankrupt

The Dryer Took A Long Time

Everlast's Song About High Rents

Goddamn The Pusher Man

Egg Whites After Labor Day

Tight Jeans Worn Over Underwear

All The Candy Was Distributed

Hair Tye Dye

Hold On To This Pigeon

Low Cost Prescription Drugs

Folding On The First Coin Toss

Singer, Songwriter, SEX WORKER

Soggy Corn Tortilla

Counting Of The Crows (Bad Lyrics)

Huffing The Cheap Oven Cleaner

Multiple Complaints Of Workplace Behavior

King Of The Little Magazines

The Price Of A Barrel

A Mouth Is A Mouth

UB40 Opened Up The Show

The Best A Man Can Get

MythBusters: Afterlife

No Business Like Minding Your Own

That Kind Of Gay (Two Steps Back)

Black Oak Arkansas

That Bowflex As (Stereophonic Sound)

Foregone And Forecloses (Housing Shortage)

Ain't I A Woman

Drowning In Two Inches Of Water

Pipes Need Attention

Another Wunderkind Oscar Nominee

Bachelor Breakfast (Cold Pork Chops And Pizza)

His Favorite Type Of Milk Shake

Renegotiating Terms Of Service

Big Wheel A Keep On Turnin'

Leaving The Crust On The Bread (Ow, That Hurts Me)

The Battle Raged On The Senate

The Worst Ever To Hit Wax

The Kid In The Tight Clash Shirt

Forged In The Flames (Foot Alergies)

Tennis Stars On Dope

Foreclosures Fast Actin' Tinactin

The Rapid Thinning Of The Face

No One Buys Peter Pan On Purpose

Big Bloodbaths Of Excitement

Flavored With Carrots And Herbs

Dubbing Cassettes Off The Radio

Bill Maher's Greasy Glasses

Bob Dylan Sounds Like A Balloon Airing Out

Optimal Lard Based Numbering System

The Battering Syndrome

Ass Coming Out The Butt

Addiction Is Hilarious

Hard Rock Radio Junkie

Convertible With The Top Down

Mark Downs And Mark Ups

The Proof And The Pudding

White Wine Enema

That Other Hit By Toto

Life After The Tet Offensive (Updrafts In The Outhouse)

And They Kept Complaining

Plotting The Hunger Games

Lots Of Static Coming From The Showerhead

The New Oldsmobiles Are In Early This Year

The Old Queens With Their Low Top Sneakers

Corncob Pipefitter

Another Night Without Windows

Bending Down To Pick Up A Penny

Ants In The Pants

People Have Tickets

Check Out Time Is At Eleven

Giving The Game Away

Peter Gabriel's Co-Option Of African Rythms

In The Path Of The Coming Storm

Short Distance Runner

He Stood There With His Mouth Open

He Bought Lenny Kravitz Tickets On Purpose

The Source Of The Scent

Her Parents Named Her Blanche

Plain White Ts (With A Twist)

The Cable Was Out That Week

The Can From The City Read "No Hot Ashes"

Busted

The Guy From Fall Out Boy Got Fat

The Fallacy Of An Argument

Airport Gift Shop Blues

Number One In Afternoon Drive Time

An Honest Public Search For Identity

The Chick With The Clever T-Shirt Cries Alone

The Turn Wasn't Finished

Unfulfilled Fantasies: Stale Chips

Learning To Forklift

His Sentiments Exactly

Forced To Move Without Compensation

Whistling Through Clenched Teeth

Petty Theft Before The Alarm Goes Off

Out In The Open

A Good Game Bird

Fasting After Labor Day

The Struggle Isn't Real

Eating The President's Oranges

Gives You Wings

Billy Gets A "B"

The Guy From Disturbed Enjoys An Omelette

Passing Out At The Pride Parade

The Last Piece Of Birthday Cake

The Morning Ended Well

The One Percent (Unhappy With Waiters Wages)

Long Bows And Lariats

The Other Night There Was A Sale

The Budget Must Be Balanced

Night Of The Living Wage

Fantastic Cleans Up The Worst Spills

A Warning Shot

Walking Past The Open Windows

Where Isn't Waldo

Bringing The Balance Down (Complete Anger)

Without Bones Or Belief

He Was Lucky, The Cup Was Empty

The Fries Weren't In The Bag

Figured The Net/Gross Worth (Leprechaun Rock)

Apricots And Acorns

Fell On The Keys